Indianapolis, IN
Associated Press

Earlier today the Indianapolis Colts held a very short and confusing press conference. There they announced that going forward they will be known as the Indianapolis Texans. This was the only thing announced and no questions were allowed.

Owner, B.I.G., later clarified to us that the name will not be changed officially because the league denied the request, for obvious reasons. He also gave us a little insight into his reasoning.

"We just took 11 former Texans in the last three weeks of Free Agency, and our long term strategy is to keep taking Texans' players whenever they become available."

He went on to explain that this rivalry will not take place on the field as much as in the offseason.

"Houston has been paying their players way under market value for so long, it's time someone put a stop to it."